Dear Doc

An epistolary experiment.

Dear Doc:

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written. Time gets away from me. I am often composing posts in my head, but that’s about as far as I get. I think if I got back more comments from you (or at least a click of the heart to know you read one of my letters) I might feel that I wasn’t just howling into the wind.

I have signed up as an Amazon associate, so if you ever click on the link for a product I have posted about, I might get a tiny commission—it doesn’t add to the cost for you. I have done this once before, on my old blog, and it didn’t come to much, but it made me feel like I was of this century. I also don’t post about anything that I haven’t used and liked.

I find subscriptions encouraging—particularly the paid ones. Knowing that people are seeking out more from me, and actually find something of value in what I have to say is all any of us are actually looking for, isn’t it? I think that even those writers who are trying to make their writing a source of serious income are also seeking the validation that subscriptions bring.

Sometimes, I get really tired of living in this body

I think I have said to you before that ever since I was a little kid, I have lived much more in my head than in my body. Not quite talking head in a jar, but definitely on that spectrum. Even on a good day, I had some degree of discomfort, so escaping into a book, or a tv show, or a movie, or a crafting project really helped me disassociate from my bodily bothers.

From when I was little, to well into my adulthood, I had significant pain from blisters on my feet, pretty much every day. Nobody thought about pain meds or a wheelchair, so it just hurt, every day. I guess I have some residual bitterness about all of the clueless adults whose inaction allowed this to happen, but I try to remember that epidermolytic ichthyosis is so rare, no one had really thought about treating the discomfort—they were too busy treating how it looked.

Anyway, I think that was when I started to disassociate from my body—although, at the same time I was hyper vigilant about activities, trying to not get injured (“skinned”).

As I’ve gotten older, the sources of discomfort have changed—osteoarthritis in my hips and knees, and most recently, in my shoulders. I am most pissed about the pain in my shoulders, as it has arrived on the heels of my having figured out how to minimize the mobility-related discomfort.

I had my first shot into one of my shoulders a couple of months ago and it really helped a lot. Unfortunately, I tweaked that shoulder about a week ago, and it is too soon to get another shot. It’s my left shoulder that is the most painful, and it has made me realize how ambidextrous I am! It turns out that I use my left arm and hand all the time, even though I am right handed. (I remember my mother commenting, when I was little, that I was ambidextrous like my father’s mother, who died before I was born. She had very painful arthritis, and died from internal bleeding caused by taking so much aspirin.

So anyway, as Roseann Rosannadana said, “It’s always something.”

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Zoom

A while ago, I told you about my still newish ramp van:

I love this van! I love the seats that turn, although I still need practice in getting the seat in the optimal position to turn it without scraping the wall of the van behind it. Please note, this is a me problem and not a failing of the modified seat.

The other problem with the seats is also a me problem—I am pretty short and the neck rest is just not adjustable to a comfortable place for me. So, after a little trial and error, I found this:

https://amzn.to/4uYAdJV

My husband puts it on either the driver’s seat or passenger seat for me, and it seems to be pretty easy to switch. I’ve only used it on this one trip so far, but it worked great for my neck strain.

CCRCs

We recently took a trip to Southern California to visit a few CCRCs (Continuing Care Retirement Communities). Why SoCal? Because they are about half the price of any potential options here in Northern California. I found one I liked quite a bit—I guess it’s not a coincidence that they also seem to be the most disability-accommodation friendly. Out of the four we looked at, only one seemed to be up to speed in their legal obligation to provide accessibility under the ADA provision covering businesses open to the public.

It will be interesting to see what happens when we get to the application process. There’s a financial component and a health component. The bottom line is they really want you to move in when you don’t need much in the way of services. That describes us, right now. So, waiting until you’re really getting to the point of needing a lot of services/help is going to limit the places that will accept you. Also, one of the places we looked at in Carlsbad, CA, had a waiting list of 6-10 years!

It is worth noting, I think, that all of the CCRCs that we have looked at so far are pet-friendly—they didn’t bat an eye at our two indoor cats.

Cora is the black and white one, and she has the softest fur I have ever felt. Wesa is the tortie, and is a little more tweaky than Cora. We adopted them from a small cat rescue, shortly after the worst of Covid. The rescue insisted that kittens were adopted as a pair, so we did. The adoption application rivaled my law school application. They are seen here sleeping on my husband, who swears he only really tolerates the cats for my sake. Uh huh.

Did you know that I can’t really tell if you read my post unless you click on the heart at the bottom of the post. I found out that “hearting” a note or a post isn’t supposed to be an indication that you think it was the best thing you have ever read, it’s more of a “I read this.” That’s why I click on the heart for almost everything I read on Substack. It also works if you are reading the post that you received by email. ❤️

Until next time, be well. (If you can’t be well, be a little ornery.)