Hello, subscribers and followers. Welcome to my little corner of Substack. My goal with Reality Check is to share my life experience as well as my professional experience in how to be a person with a disability with finesse. I want to help you advocate for yourself, or for your family and friends. I want you to be able to benefit from my hard won wisdom, which has often been difficult. It is possible to have disability pride and positivity and still acknowledge that disability can also suck. Hard.
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Don’t Pay The Ransom!
Someone I used to know would say the above whenever he was horribly late for something—usually accompanied by a weird Kramer-like entrance (IYKYK.) The first time he said it, I thought it was funny, after that, not so much.
I haven’t posted in over two months and I feel bad about it. I just haven’t known I wanted to say.
So, that happened.
When I started writing this stack, I intended to share information and opinion about topics related to having a disability, from practical advice to explanations of various laws and policies.
After the election, and even now, I feel that a tremendous number of areas, including many that pertain to disability and health issues are up in the air, and definitely not in a good way.
Honestly, I find the outcome of the election so appalling that it fills me with anxiety and dread if I start to enumerate all of specific things I am worried (or scared shitless) about. How 4 years (or more?) of a MAGA government could impact people with disabilities is only one of the many things I am concerned about.
Wage a Charm Offensive
One thing I noticed a long time ago is that people like my parents, who were bigoted about many groups, particularly different racial groups, were not bigoted in their behavior toward individuals in those groups.
Similarly, while I do believe that many people would just like people with disabilities (PWD) to simply not exist, or at least, not participate in the public sphere, I have found that many of these people can be “won over” on an individual basis.
For example, the conductors on our local commuter rail system, while unfailingly polite and professional, oozed that air of “oh shit” every time they saw me sitting on the platform. Because they have to physically go through a process to get me and my wheelchair on the train. (Very recently they purchased new train cars, but it is still not possible for wheelchair users to board the train independently because of design of both the trains and the stations.)
As rode the trains daily (for about eight years), I would see the same conductors all the time. Due to my natural charm and charisma, I won them over. In short, I became a person, not just an additional burden for them to have to deal with. They began to see the process not just from their perspective, but from mine as well. I was Teri, going to work, not just “an ADA”, which is how they would refer to us on their internal comms.
This approach has worked for me 95% of the time at most places I frequent often, all of my adult life. It can be exhausting if you’re forced to charm people you don’t like, or who are condescending, but it definitely works better getting what you need on an individual basis.
Don’t Count on Systemic Change
My perception is that we can’t count on any of the systemic changes that have happened in the last fifty years in regard to people with disabilities to remain intact under MAGA leadership. That is why I talk about a “charm” offensive as individual tactic. Who knows which laws will be overturned, or will simply not be enforced.
Setting up infrastructure to make public schools, venues (stores, restaurants, hotels, etc.) can be expensive, especially if you’re retrofitting old or non-compliant systems. How many school districts, hotel chains, etc., will voluntarily do what it takes to remain or become accessible if they don’t have to? Or worse, if it becomes a cause for criticism for a business to remain inclusive.
Doom Patrol
I don’t know how bad it will get, or how fast. I don’t know if there are any Republicans who will draw the line at dismantling systems that provide equal and equitable rights for PWD. I am not counting on them.
I am not saying that we should just march placidly onto the “special trucks”, but if just devolves into incompetent chaos, remember that fighting the good fight is one thing, and getting access to your favorite restaurant or bookstore is a more IRL and immediate proposition.
If you’re a PWD or are a parent or an ally, what (if anything) are you worried about, coming after January, for people in this boat? Let me know in the comments.
Good to have you back, Teri. I’m specifically worried about long COVID being denied outright by the conspiracy theorists that are being installed over health agencies. I’ve already read that some of them think we had a “plandemic.” Those of us disabled by LC are already out of sight for the most part. It won’t take much to completely dehumanize us. I feel like that’s something so many disabled folks can relate to, sadly.
Hi Teri! Welcome back. I just wrote a long comment that got eaten by Substack before I could send it. Mostly, I wanted to say thank you for leading with kindness, humor, and charm. My bedside reading now - the days of going immediately to the New York Times are long past - is Timothy Snyder’s On Tyranny. His Lesson #12, “Make eye contact and small talk,” emphasizes the need for connection. “This is not just polite. It is part of being a citizen and a responsible member of society.” So true. Also, it’s a way of scoping out the world around you. Obviously, you live by this anyway, so I’m preaching to the choir. Just glad you’re here.🙏