I Bet You Haven’t Heard Of This
I have had this disability for most of my life and I didn’t know it was a real thing.
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A Random Parent Clues Me In
For years and years, I dreaded talking on the phone at work. One day, I just got over it. I think it was when I finally had the inner confidence in myself and my knowledge of all of tangentially related things related to disabilities that I needed to do my job well.
Much of the job was done over email, with occasional memos. I was very good at writing for my prospective audience when writing those emails—good news or bad, changing someone’s mind about something, or explaining things either for a sophisticated person or baby steps for a newbie or a hater.
But on the phone, you had no control over the other person and their emotions. My usual rationality didn’t always work with a random caller.
So, about five years before I retired, a call was transferred to me—nobody else wanted to handle the call.
The mom of a potential student was trying to explain her daughter’s condition to me—a condition that affected her both academically and in housing assignments. Mom says, “Have you ever heard of misophonia?” I hadn’t. I asked her to spell it so I could look it up later. Then, I asked her how she would describe it.
What is misophonia?
Are there sounds that instantly cause you to feel intense anger, anxiety or disgust? Are those emotions extremely strong, even overpowering, to the point where they’re hard to control? These are features of misophonia, a disorder where you have a decreased tolerance to specific sounds and things you can sense (see, touch, etc.) related to them.
This phenomenon can affect people very differently. Some people may only have one "trigger" sound that causes this reaction. Some people can have several trigger sounds.
People can also have reactions that are more or less severe. Some people can’t control the emotions they feel but can control their responses. Some people can't control either, causing them to react impulsively. In the most severe cases, people may not be able to do certain things or be in specific environments. (From The Cleveland Clinic Cleveland Clinic definition of Misophonia)
“Well,” she said. “Certain sounds trigger a strong emotional response from her. Extreme irritation, even rage.”
“What kind of sounds?” I asked.
“People eating loudly, people chewing gum…”
“I have that!” I said, interrupting her. (She kind of chuckled.) “I didn’t know it was an actual ‘thing’.”
Mom said, yes, it was definitely an actual thing.
The conversation continued about documenting the condition for our office, which would enable us to support accommodations for her. I thought of maybe sound-canceling headphones for exams, and possibly a single room, if the daughter thought the sounds a typical roommate might make would trigger her, or keep her awake.
I also said that if they couldn’t get great documentation, she should still come in to our office and meet with one of our Disability Advisors. We put a lot of emphasis on a student’s self-report of their condition and how it impacts their life as student.
It was an unusually beneficial phone call for both me and Prospective Mom. Who knows when I would have heard about it otherwise.
My Grandfather Could Slurp A Sandwich
Sitting with my grandfather for a meal was excruciating for me. He ate very noisily and it drove me mad. I had a similar reaction to eating with my mom, but it wasn’t quite as bad.
I was trying to remember when I first started having these reactions, and really can’t remember, but the Cleveland Clinic’s article says that onset is often in the early teen years, and that sounds about right.
And should be thinking this a thinly veiled family issue, the other thing that really gets me are people chewing gum audibly, especially during exams or at the movies. Other people eating popcorn is pretty stressful.
My personal reactions to irritating sounds is to get very annoyed and want to leave wherever I am where this occurring. Kind of like fingernails on a chalkboard.
In school, high school and beyond, anyone chewing gum within my hearing would just get all my attention until I could get control of my irritation. If I was back in school today, I would ask for those noise-canceling headphones.
How About You?
Do you have this? Did you know it is a medically recognized thing? Let me know in the comments.
I had a co-worker who took breaks at the same time I did, no matter when I took them. I don’t know how he managed it. We were usually alone in the break room and his chewing sounds drove me insane. I dreaded breaks. I thought 💭 was the only one.
My husband has this around people chewing - including when it’s me who is chewing, and including when my mouth is fully closed. Some days I’m more understanding about it than others. It’s hard not to take it personally when his cringey faces make me feel like I’m being a pig or something. To make matters worse, I really love crunchy foods 😣. So I try to eat those when he’s not around, or warn him, or just relocate myself.
I have noticed when people eat squishy sounding foods, even with their mouths closed, it really bothers me. So I do kind of get it. But what’s hard to understand is why the sound of me breaking apart crisp lettuce with my hands is acceptable, when the nearly equivalent or more muted sound of me chewing it with my mouth closed is painful. It’s a difficult disorder to fully understand.