And MEDICAL people who insist on whispering even when I tell them I can't hear them. Here's one that is so absurd, it's laughable. I was in the hospital for a procedure and the nurse DEMANDED that I surrender my hearing aid. I flat out refused and explained that I would give it to my husband when there was nobody else I had to communicate with prior to going under anesthesia. She told me she would "get yelled at" because she didn't collect said hearing-aid. I had to request that her supervisor talk to me. Supervisor, fortunately, saw my side of it. But all this should have been a given.
Here's another one. Those damnable raised things in doorways. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user so I just stand up and get over the hump but I would be in a LOT of trouble if I couldn't. Also, the horrible lifts that everybody gets a good look at while one is just trying to get from one level to the next one. Finally, this assumption that we are dumb. That one drives me crazy. How many times must I explain that my EARS don't hear well but my BRAIN is working, so "please move into the light so I can read your lips."? OY. All that stuff does get internalized.
Wow. Teri, this is clear, forceful, and compelling. It’s a real lesson in how easy it is to look away from a complex issue because it’s uncomfortable. The examples from your lived experience leave me stunned. You’ve probably heard “I had no idea,” about a million times, but now you’ll have to add one more. Thank you for being an educator and an advocate. You’re writing the book here that should show up on everyone’s reading list, not just in HR departments.
I am sorry to hear about your shitty HR experience, but can't say I am surprised. I have long-held trust issues when it comes to HR. I think they are incredibly ableist, with intent. My department ran remotely for nearly 18 months during the height of COVID-19, but I still had to fight tooth and nail to get work-from-home accommodations approved for some of my staff.
I'm such a naive idealist, I once hoped that all the things being revealed by Covid would change the way we do things. So many messages from admin about taking care of ourselves. So much understanding of the limitations we were all working under. That lasted about 15 minutes. Then, it felt like they doubled-down on the worst parts of how things had been before Covid.
I am cynical as hell, but I thought that with such a long period of success, there would be a cultural epiphany regarding working from home. Especially with the advent of tools like zoom to enable meetings, both big and small.
I really appreciate your robust definitions. This is not all new to me, but I know enough to know that there's more I need to know. I could really relate to your experiences with HR. I once tried to get some minor accommodations for my migraine issues. I wanted to be able to work from home sometimes (this was pre-Covid) when dealing with my headaches. Most of the time, my meds allow me to function, especially if I can control my environment and take breaks from activity. Being away from florescent lights and the noise/visual stimulation of a school environment would have done wonders for me. But like you said, it was like I had to be totally incapacitated to qualify for any relief. I think my request just reinforced an idea that some people have that migraines aren't all that bad. It's only bad enough to justify accommodations if I can't do anything at all. The end result: I took sick days more often, when I did no work at all. (I refused to use my sick leave to get my job done.) It was a lose-lose solution.
Great post, Teri. Clear definitions and good (sobering) examples. Now that I’m disabled, I see ableism in places and situations I never used to. I’m going to share this post in my own post next week. Brava!
Thank you, Amy! This post is the first one of this type, so I was a little nervous about it. I am glad you found it to be clear —I really care about that. I wonder if I will get much blowback from people who disagree. It will be interesting. Thank you again! ❤️
I do think that language as a whole is somewhat subjective, so there may be parts of this that don’t resonate for everyone, but my impression is that the vast majority of people are disability-ignorant and you’ll find that even your disabled readers are going to take away many things from this glossary project of yours. It is a brave and serious undertaking, and aside from the actual concepts, I’m gaining inspiration from what you’re doing here with your newsletter. Thank you for being part of my learning!
And MEDICAL people who insist on whispering even when I tell them I can't hear them. Here's one that is so absurd, it's laughable. I was in the hospital for a procedure and the nurse DEMANDED that I surrender my hearing aid. I flat out refused and explained that I would give it to my husband when there was nobody else I had to communicate with prior to going under anesthesia. She told me she would "get yelled at" because she didn't collect said hearing-aid. I had to request that her supervisor talk to me. Supervisor, fortunately, saw my side of it. But all this should have been a given.
Here's another one. Those damnable raised things in doorways. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user so I just stand up and get over the hump but I would be in a LOT of trouble if I couldn't. Also, the horrible lifts that everybody gets a good look at while one is just trying to get from one level to the next one. Finally, this assumption that we are dumb. That one drives me crazy. How many times must I explain that my EARS don't hear well but my BRAIN is working, so "please move into the light so I can read your lips."? OY. All that stuff does get internalized.
Wow. Teri, this is clear, forceful, and compelling. It’s a real lesson in how easy it is to look away from a complex issue because it’s uncomfortable. The examples from your lived experience leave me stunned. You’ve probably heard “I had no idea,” about a million times, but now you’ll have to add one more. Thank you for being an educator and an advocate. You’re writing the book here that should show up on everyone’s reading list, not just in HR departments.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Thanks, Mary. I am hoping that if I stick with this, I might make a dent or at least amplify the conversation. I always appreciate your support. ❤️
I am sorry to hear about your shitty HR experience, but can't say I am surprised. I have long-held trust issues when it comes to HR. I think they are incredibly ableist, with intent. My department ran remotely for nearly 18 months during the height of COVID-19, but I still had to fight tooth and nail to get work-from-home accommodations approved for some of my staff.
I'm such a naive idealist, I once hoped that all the things being revealed by Covid would change the way we do things. So many messages from admin about taking care of ourselves. So much understanding of the limitations we were all working under. That lasted about 15 minutes. Then, it felt like they doubled-down on the worst parts of how things had been before Covid.
I am cynical as hell, but I thought that with such a long period of success, there would be a cultural epiphany regarding working from home. Especially with the advent of tools like zoom to enable meetings, both big and small.
I really appreciate your robust definitions. This is not all new to me, but I know enough to know that there's more I need to know. I could really relate to your experiences with HR. I once tried to get some minor accommodations for my migraine issues. I wanted to be able to work from home sometimes (this was pre-Covid) when dealing with my headaches. Most of the time, my meds allow me to function, especially if I can control my environment and take breaks from activity. Being away from florescent lights and the noise/visual stimulation of a school environment would have done wonders for me. But like you said, it was like I had to be totally incapacitated to qualify for any relief. I think my request just reinforced an idea that some people have that migraines aren't all that bad. It's only bad enough to justify accommodations if I can't do anything at all. The end result: I took sick days more often, when I did no work at all. (I refused to use my sick leave to get my job done.) It was a lose-lose solution.
Great post, Teri. Clear definitions and good (sobering) examples. Now that I’m disabled, I see ableism in places and situations I never used to. I’m going to share this post in my own post next week. Brava!
Thank you, Amy! This post is the first one of this type, so I was a little nervous about it. I am glad you found it to be clear —I really care about that. I wonder if I will get much blowback from people who disagree. It will be interesting. Thank you again! ❤️
I do think that language as a whole is somewhat subjective, so there may be parts of this that don’t resonate for everyone, but my impression is that the vast majority of people are disability-ignorant and you’ll find that even your disabled readers are going to take away many things from this glossary project of yours. It is a brave and serious undertaking, and aside from the actual concepts, I’m gaining inspiration from what you’re doing here with your newsletter. Thank you for being part of my learning!